'I ended up cooking almost everything myself. Again': Eldest sister of 8 refuses to host another big family Christmas after everyone fails to contribute to the last festivity

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Dec 20, 2025 3:00 PM EST

It's tiring being the most responsible one in the family. While it's a delight to occasionally kick off your shoes at a family member's house, leaning into the La-Z-Boy chairs and embracing the life of a lowlife, if this becomes your permanent role in the family structure, you're the worst type of freeloader. Taking advantage of your family's cooking, spending, space, hard work, and ultimately their hosting charity, freeloading family members never learn what it takes to host an enormous family event. 

Don't get me wrong, it's awesome to go home to a multicourse family dinner prepared by someone else; I'd wager it's the best feeling in the world. However, being on the opposite side of the coin, or in this case, the opposite side of the kitchen, can be completely exhausting, especially when you are counting on your siblings to pull their weight. 

This new mom to twins is the oldest sibling in her family. With 7 other youngsters under her at every family gathering, she inadvertently became the unofficial third parent, but without the perks of retirement. This year, after all of her siblings took advantage of her hosting sacrifice, she decided she was done with it. They can fend for themselves this Christmas because she's tired of picking up their slack on holiday responsibilities. We'll see if anyone can handle the massive weight of feeding this gigantic family, because the one who did so for the last 30+ years is done.

Advertisement
  • Woman getting stressed out in the kitchen because nobody is helping her.
    via jackF

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • WIBTA if I refused to host my siblings for the holidays after how Thanksgiving went?
    via www.reddit.com
  • I'm the oldest of 8. Growing up, that meant I was basically the built-in third parent. As adults, nothing has changed. Every holiday somehow defaults to me. Part of it is
    via www.reddit.com
  • because I have the "big house" 10 bedrooms, a guest house, 10 acres, a barn, hiking trails, even a little waterfall that everyone loves to take pictures by.
    via www.reddit.com
  • And part of it is because our parents are older now and can't host like they used to.
    via www.reddit.com
  • But the part everyone seems to forget is that I also have a huge family of my own four kids already, and I gave birth to twins one month ago. I'm tired in a way that's hard to even describe. I'm healing, I'm barely sleeping, and every day feels like a blur of diapers and bottles.
    via www.reddit.com
  • My parents try to help, but their "help" is usually watching the kids for a couple hours while I run to the store or offering to pay for some of the groceries. The cooking and cleaning? Always me. And then... came this Thanksgiving.
    via www.reddit.com
  • I knew I didn't have the capacity to cook a massive meal this year, so I tried really tried to make it easier on myself. I asked each sibling to bring a specific dish. Nothing fancy. Just things they already know how to make.
    via www.reddit.com
  • But when the day came, the parade of nonsense began. One sibling walked in with a single can of green beans and a bag of chips, claiming they "forgot" the rest of the green bean casserole ingredients.
    via www.reddit.com
  • Woman staring at a pile of dishes in the kitchen.
    via hirug

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Another brought broccoli with a handful of cheese thrown on top, shoved into my oven for maybe 10 minutes. It was still hard.
    via www.reddit.com
  • Someone else promised mashed potatoes but showed up with a box of instant flakes and said they'd "make it right before we eat." They didn't. And they didn't bring enough, either.
    via www.reddit.com
  • Then three more siblings three arrived holding nothing but store-bought cookies. No explanation other than “I was busy" or "well I figured someone else would bring extra."
    via www.reddit.com
  • And the final sibling? They brought eggs for the next morning's breakfast. Not an actual dish. Just eggs. And then acted confused when I didn't immediately scramble them for everyone.
    via www.reddit.com
  • By mid-afternoon, I realized we had basically no real food. So the day before Thanksgiving, one month postpartum, I had to race to the grocery store to buy actual ingredients to salvage dinner.
    via www.reddit.com
  • I ended up cooking almost everything myself. Again. And of course, I did the majority of the cleanup too, because everyone "had to get on the road early."
    via www.reddit.com
  • Now Christmas is coming, and I can already feel the expectation settling on me like a weight. The group text has been suspiciously quiet, which is usually their way of waiting until I give up and say, "Yeah, everyone come here."
    via www.reddit.com
  • But this year... I don't know if I can. I'm exhausted. My house is full. I'm still healing. And after Thanksgiving, it's painfully clear that unless I do everything myself, nothing gets done. So I'm stuck between two choices:
    via www.reddit.com
  • Option A: Refuse to host entirely and let someone else step up for once. Option B:Host... but don't cook a thing. Let them deal with a holiday menu of Eggos and PB&Js if that's what they bring.
    via www.reddit.com
  • I don't want to ruin the holiday or make things harder on my parents. But I also don't want to repeat Thanksgiving while I'm still recovering.
    via www.reddit.com
  • So, WIBTA if I told my siblings that I'm not hosting Christmas unless they actually contribute, or if I host but refuse to cook anything this time?
    via www.reddit.com
  • OnlyInAnAdultStore You are completely justified in not wanting to host again. Either way you decide though, you'll be the bad guy according to them, so do what's best for you and your immediate family and have a wonderful Christmas!
    via OnlyInAnAdultStore

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

christmas families siblings dinner family eldest
Scroll Down For The Next Article